<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Apollo 13 by maple_tree</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23755318">Apollo 13</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/maple_tree/pseuds/maple_tree'>maple_tree</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>LOONA (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, but they're both gay af, for each other :), jungeun is a brat, lipves is hot, mentions of chuusoul, minor hyewon, sooyoung is a dumbass</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:48:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23755318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/maple_tree/pseuds/maple_tree</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sooyoung doesn't remember when she started moonwatching. It was probably on that day everyone went up to the roof to see the blood moon, ages ago; and the only thing Sooyoung can remember is how she liked the colour of the moon a hell lot better when it was reflected in Jungeun's eyes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Apollo 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung is not easily impressed. Her posture is impeccable and her face is poised in an expression like she’s always standing in a garden of butterflies. But there is one thing that gets under her skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kim Jungeun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is something about her that makes Sooyoung want to throw all pretence of elegance out the window. Like that apple off that balcony. She expected Jungeun to drop it but she didn’t think Jungeun could make it that fucking funny. Her grin of sheer pain cracked Sooyoung up, even from where she was sitting, and when she saw the edited LoonaTV episode she damn near lost her mind. She wanted to congratulate Jungeun for making a meme out of herself, but she already is one, and maybe it was just an excuse for talking to her more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What’s with her stupid laugh? Jungeun cackles like a coyote and slaps whatever’s and whoever’s next to her, her eyebrows scrunched up into a deep furrow that Sooyoung has the strange urge to pinch gently. When she has her arm around Jungeun’s shoulders, she shakes uncontrollably as she laughs, and Sooyoung is glad that she’s substantially taller than Jungeun to stop her fizzing into outer space. And also so Jungeun can put her head on Sooyoung’s shoulder comfortably.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One day, dear little Lippie came into the practice room and asked Sooyoung what a ‘simp’ was. She said Hyunjin and Jinsoul, the fuckers, had teased her about being one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh honey,” Sooyoung began, only she didn’t actually say that, no way, not that she wants to see Jungeun’s reaction at all, no - she sighed and cursed Hyunjin’s sadism along with Jinsoul’s extensive knowledge of twitter thirst tweets. “Come here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Jungeun perches on the edge of Sooyoung’s chair like the owl she is, her hair brushing against Sooyoung’s bare arms. “What’s a simp?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It goes like this,” the fourth, the fifth - Sooyoung bites her lips and thinks of a way to phrase it. “It’s someone who… well, basically, who can’t say no to a girl.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun looks at her with one eyebrow raised. “That’s it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean - it’s meant to be mean, obviously.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun flips her hair: “It just makes me look nice. I’m kind. To girls.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It also implies you’re high-key a bottom though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Frickin Jinsoul. Like she isn’t?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung exhales. “Yeah, well, are they wrong though?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha - you’re not calling me -” Jungeun raises both eyebrows this time. She reaches to hit Sooyoung.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not denying it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun keysmashes out loud. “You can’t do this to me! You can’t call me out like this!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung laughs and laughs and laughs, under a barrage of Jungeun’s fists. They’re not wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun has always been the brat, but she’s never been able to turn a request for a favour down. Sooyoung once made her come out on a midnight walk, and they shared airpods and listened to her meditative music that Jungeun called “hippy” but listened to anyway. It was fun watching Jungeun roll her eyes. And the next time, Sooyoung caught Jungeun coming out the shower, and dragged her outside; this time Jungeun only whined for like 5 minutes before taking Sooyoung’s arm and walking alongside her like a puppy or some sappy shit like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’ll give Jinsoul at least a pity laugh for her jokes. She’ll cook with Kahei and clean away the dishes afterwards. Yes she does the cooking yes she does the cleaning. She’ll indulge Heejin’s enthusiasm and stand up for her when Hyunjin teases her. Jungeun has definitely drunk tea with Haseul late at night, even if it was past her bedtime of 10-fucking-pm and she’d not be able to sleep because of the mild caffeine content, bless her. And she’ll go to karaoke with Jiwoo whenever she asks, probably.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung saw Jungeun watching Yerim and Yeojin do aegyo one time with the softest smile on her face and she could not believe her eyes - Jungeun? Being soft? More likely than you think, concludes Sooyoung, after Jungeun lets Hyejoo beat her on Mario Kart. More than once. She even allowed Chaewon to put a tiara on her, and pranced around in front of the mirror like an idiot, until she noticed yyxy staring and immediately went as red as Hyunjin’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Best of all - she lets Sooyoung bother her as much as she wants.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung doesn’t like the feeling that someone’s always waiting for her to come back home, that she’s never really free from a phone call if she decides to stay the night elsewhere. But when she found Jungeun waiting outside the company building at the end of the first month after their debut as LOONA, at 12pm - and when they’d gone to the nearest (and best, claimed Jungeun) noodle place to get ramen, Sooyoung didn’t mind it one bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She once tried to get Jungeun to rap her verse in <em>So What</em>, and it ended with them falling over each other, Sooyoung quoting “rap no no no” over and over again and Jungeun looking like steam was going to come out of her ears. She’s fond of Jungeun, she really is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But teasing her and brushing her feathers the wrong way could be considered one of Sooyoung’s hobbies by now. Jinsoul’s perfected that art - she makes Jungeun teeter on the verge of tears daily and yell “Yah!” at twice the volume she usually does. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Sooyoung is nothing if not competitive - in the way where she’ll spend days practising, making it seem effortless when she finally bests her opponent. There’s no way to practice for this, though; it’s not like dancing, or singing, but making Jungeun laugh is a skill she wants to max out like no other. She’ll just have to spend more time with the raccoon-ass brat. Not that Sooyoung minds, deep down. Very deep. Like so deep that instead of her heart melting, the pressure is so great that it’s solidified again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Sooyoung has gone through all of that mess inside her head, and dare she say inside her heart, they’ve both calmed down enough to look each other in the eye - and start a staring competition. It never lasts very long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung loves the way Jungeun can never hold her gaze, how she always gets flustered by her stare. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the first time Sooyoung felt Jungeun’s gaze on her for more than a minute, she didn’t think much of it, because yes, Sooyoung is a work of art. But she didn’t understand why another masterpiece was staring at her like that. Every time she looked back, though, Jungeun would either have shifted her gaze, or would make a funny face and turn away. This time, she was just turning red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what were you doing?” Jungeun pushes her hair back from her slightly flushed face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Being the dancing queen, young and sweet, no longer 17 though.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun scrunches up her eyebrows. “The fuck?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung snorts. “Would you care to join me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, dumbass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They find instrumentals of their songs and start a duet. Both vocalists and dancers, Sooyoung isn’t being conceited when she says out loud that they slay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun’s eyes widen before she hits Sooyoung, who jumps out of the way. “What are you saying!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The truth?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun looks red but there’s a twinkle in her eyes that Sooyoung can’t resist, so she puts on Eclipse. It gets a screech out of Jungeun; she starts helicoptering her arms at Sooyoung, but she’s smiling and Sooyoung feels like she’s finally accomplished something with this short life of hers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As she calms, the expression on Jungeun’s faces shifts. She bites her lip and pulls back her hair - she doesn’t use her fingertips, Sooyoung has noticed; she uses the space between her index and middle finger. And always on the same side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung shakes her head. Fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun takes a breath and starts singing, and in the process steals the air from Sooyoung’s lungs. She wants to cheer like Jiwoo, but instead is standing there, fingers fidgeting, with her eyes on Jungeun’s in the mirror. God. The eye contact makes Sooyoung’s stomach flip over - how can Jungeun go from a loud, head empty no thoughts kid to a literal prince? Is this what they call duality?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Levels in a dance are beautiful but none more so than Jungeun’s. The floorwork at the start makes Sooyoung’s heart pound like a teenage girl and it makes it so easy for her eyes to travel along Jungeun’s legs, and Jungeun is smirking like a fox and Sooyoung is unable to look away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She spins and Sooyoung swears that the air sparkles around her. When she comes to a stop, her eyes are directly on Sooyoung’s; she extends her hand towards Sooyoung. Like the dumbass she is, she freezes for five seconds before pointing at herself and mouthing, </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s no one else here, Ha Sooyoung,” Jungeun says, leaving off the honorific.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kim Jungeun!” Sooyoung leaps into action. She stumbles towards Jungeun but is caught in her arms - Jungeun is way too small to spin Sooyoung around but she tries anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They play around like that until the last chorus, when Jungeun catches Sooyoung’s glance in the mirror like so many times before, and suddenly Sooyoung can hear the music again and feel the weight of Jungeun’s hand on her arm. Reflexively, she pushes her hair back from her face, watching Jungeun’s eyes follow her fingertips in the mirror.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, main dancer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun releases Sooyoung and starts to dance. Sooyoung rolls her eyes but her feet are already moving, following the beat. Jungeun is grinning. Sooyoung starts dancing harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s somehow been like this between the two of them from the start; Jungeun will always try and follow whatever weird dance move Sooyoung comes up with, and Sooyoung will always try and get Jungeun to laugh at her jokes. Never in her life has Sooyoung felt more determined than when standing next to Jungeun - and well, Sooyoung is eating the choreography up right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun fully chokes when Sooyoung does the move, that move at the very end, Sooyoung adding her own body rolls and a wink. They both manage to finish up the song, Jungeun breathing harder than Sooyoung.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung can see Jungeun panting. Her chest rising and falling, hair framing her face like curtains with the sun behind them - Sooyoung grinds her teeth and wills her heart to stop fucking beating so fast. She watches Jungeun go take a sip from a water bottle, her throat moving as she swallows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? You’re sexy.” Sooyoung breathes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun spits the water out of her mouth and starts choking again, prompting Sooyoung to move closer and smack her on the back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ack. Ow.” Jungeun squirms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re an idiot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “I’m not the one who nearly died over a compliment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never compliment me! I was so shook, honestly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You twat, I’m nice to you. Sometimes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And other times you just roast me out of nowhere? And you keep referencing my memes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like you don’t like it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun tries to run away from Sooyoung. “Fuck you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not brave enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s absolutely nothing that prompted Sooyoung to say that. It’s probably her bad karma catching up to her and socking her in the face. The words have barely left her mouth and she already wants to die; her soul was at the gates of hell, trying to skip the queue, asking to see a fucking manager or some shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To be fair, Jungeun isn’t looking any better. She opens and closes her mouth silently, looking anywhere but at Sooyoung. Normally it’d be just her face but this time it’s like there’s a black hole where Sooyoung stood, and Jungeun was afraid she’d lose her eyes or something if she looked at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung’s hand is still on Jungeun’s back. She can feel Jungeun’s shoulder blades through her shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The playlist had moved to the next song - Singing in the Rain. The beat could not match the speed of Sooyoung’s pulse. Fuck. Fuck. There was no reason to be feeling like this. There was no reason for Jungeun to be blushing so much. And even now, she’s facing Sooyoung, forever her Yvesflower and Ha Sooyoung is about to descend into insanity if Jungeun doesn’t do something at this rate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How pathetic. Could Sooyoung even call herself a top? </span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Jungeun’s eyes are trembling and she’s literally shaking in her boots. Sooyoung takes a deep breath, unwittingly tightening her hand on Jungeun’s back, and Jungeun looks at her for a split second. Sooyoung lowers her head towards Jungeun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop playing with me,” Jungeun says, softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Sooyoung whispers back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can never tell if you’re serious or not.” Jungeun gently pushes Sooyoung’s hand away, but doesn’t let go when Sooyoung drops her arm. “What do you want?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung looks at the hand on her arm, looks at Jungeun’s nails that she bites when they’re not acrylic, and curses.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “Shit - I don’t… Jungeun,” she hears her pulse in her ears. It drowns out her words and anything that she came up with to say. And Jungeun just raises her eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay, Sooyoung. We can pretend like nothing happened.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At that moment, someone knocks on the door to the practice room. Jungeun turns to go open it, and Sooyoung lets out the breath she’d been holding. She’s so fucking glad that she locked it because if they saw Sooyoung right now they’d think she’d been struck by lightning.  She pushes her hair back from her face. It’s damn warm in here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jinsoul’s voice is loud and slow. “What’re you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dancing,” Jungeun says. “With Ha Sooyoung-unnie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jinsoul peeks over Jungeun’s shoulders and grins. Sooyoung scrunches up her nose in return, and Jinsoul laughs before returning her attention to Jungeun. “Did you ask her what a simp was?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, I can’t believe it was just another way to call me a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bottom</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jinsoul’s face breaks into a wider smile. Jungeun hits her on the shoulder. “I’m not wrong though!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s what she said as well!” Jungeun points at Sooyoung.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ayy - ‘97-liner annoy Jungeun gang let’s go!” Bounding over to her, Jinsoul wraps an arm around Sooyoung’s neck and nearly breaks it. Choking clears Sooyoung’s head a little bit, enough that she manages to chuckle along.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to be lumped in with you, you thirst tweeter…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah! Shut up!” Jinsoul yells right into Sooyoung’s left ear - it wasn’t like she needed it anyways, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun makes a double chin. “Aight I’m gonna head out, I’m done with the both of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh Jiwoo is looking for you!” Jinsoul calls after her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gotcha!” The door closes, with Jinsoul looking intently at it for over ten seconds. Before Sooyoung can question it, Jinsoul turns towards her and leans extremely close. The way she’s extending her giraffe neck is kinda cracking Sooyoung up but Jinsoul has an unusually steely glint in her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, what?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jungeun is acting weird. Super weird.” Jinsoul says. “And it’s probably something to do with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean? She’s a damn crackhead as is, how are you able to tell?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I. Am. Friend. Jungeun. Fuck.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung frowns deeply. “You’re a friend that Jungeun fucks?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NO!” Jinsoul this time fully deafens Sooyoung; her ears are ringing and Jinsoul has gone very, very red. “I am a Jungeun friend! Friend of Jungeun’s…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung narrows her eyes. “Why are you blushing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah ha ha… I would never fuck anyone…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung wants to sucker punch Jinsoul right now for no discernable reason. Maybe it’s the way she could spot Jungeun’s shifting, quicksand moods, maybe it’s the way she brushed her hand along Jungeun’s waist as she went past into the room, maybe it’s the way Jinsoul is blushing when even thinking about Jungeun, maybe it’s Maybelline, who knows?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just can feel the vibes, okay? And they whisper into my ear that Jungeun is mad because of you.” Jinsoul leans in, all serious and shit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung laughs for real this time. “Are you fucking with me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop being emotionally constipated,” Jinsoul begins scolding her, the brat - “your sense of humour is so warped, it’s just you dragging us half of the time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cause you guys suck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? Prime example.” Jinsoul points at her and looks round as if there’s a camera in the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even need to do anything you’re just weird, like what are you even doing right now? You’re not on the Office?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, maybe if you actually talked to Jungeun about all those </span>
  <em>
    <span>feelings </span>
  </em>
  <span>of yours instead of writing them in that journal of yours, you could get somewhere?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung is going to slap Jinsoul. Yep. She’s decided, today’s finally going to be the day. Her hand is half-raised when Jinsoul takes hold of her wrist with no trace of a smile on her face. They freeze up for a second, both of them questioning why the other hasn’t started punching yet. Probably because they’re actually evenly matched, unlike Sooyoung and Jungeun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look,” Sooyoung begins. “I… said something I shouldn’t have, and she dipped. I can’t begin to think why -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Start using that brain of yours! Unless this bitch empty, yeet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut the fuck up you fishy ass -” Sooyoung’s lost it by this point and Jinsoul is at least smart enough to see the unhindered rage in Sooyoung’s eyes as she spins 180 degrees like a ballet dancer and scrambles pathetically towards the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good riddance! Bastard…” Sooyoung slams the door and locks it and is once again asking for her sanity back from whomever snatched it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shakes her head, violently, and picks up her coat by the collar, throwing it on and then taking it off in a huff again because it’s way too damn hot in here. Putting on So What to vent her stupid feelings, she does pretty well until the bridge. Almost all the time in front of the mirror her eyes would meet Jungeun’s and usually Sooyoung sticks her tongue out at her; but when they get serious Sooyoung honestly doesn’t have the capacity to formulate any coherent thought when Jungeun looks at her with no trace of laughter in her face and only fire in her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung needs to leave. Right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She slaps her phone and miraculously it stops the music. Power-walking out of the building, she avoids the eyes of anyone she passes by and hopes that nobody will talk to her because at this rate, she is going to either kick them or break down crying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it’s strange because Jungeun literally won’t stfu and Sooyoung always thought her ideal type was someone calm, caring, soft, someone who would hold her hand and put their head on her shoulder. Jungeun is the kind of person to scratch you accidentally with her long-ass acrylic nails and laugh afterwards. She’s done that to Sooyoung like ten times this week.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Also, Jungeun wakes up obscenely early; on rest days, their sleep schedules are directly opposite each other’s. Jungeun once was making cereal in the kitchen when Sooyoung went outside to get water before her bedtime - it was like 4am and they both stared at each other like that spiderman meme, with Jungeun looking bright and Sooyoung bleary and they both said no words and just left it at that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck is wrong with you,” Sooyoung whispered as she washed the cup, held at gunpoint by Jungeun’s sheer presence. Jungeun just scowled at her in return which prompted a retaliatory smack from Sooyoung and they damn well nearly started fist-fighting right there on the kitchen table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was one of the only times Jungeun had managed to pin her down. Blame it on the late - or earliness - of the day. Sooyoung was head empty no thoughts, staring up at Jungeun, who had her hands on Sooyoung’s shoulders and her hair falling around Sooyoung’s face. Sooyoung reached up to pinch Jungeun’s cheeks, but her muscles were mush and her hands just came to rest lightly on Jungeun’s face. And her eyes came to rest on Jungeun’s lips for no particular reason, cowboy emoji.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so annoying, you know that?” Sooyoung breathed. “And yet I’m still fucking here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun narrowed her eyes. “I can’t decide whether to slap you or - well -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“K-word you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiss?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was going to say kill - huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung started laughing hysterically. “Go ahead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not serious?” Jungeun looked as if she’d been struck by thunder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t tell when I’m around you,” Sooyoung said, rubbing her thumbs in drunken circles on Jungeun’s cheeks. She started giggling again; Jungeun’s eyes searched her face erratically, but all Sooyoung could think about was how soft Jungeun’s skin felt and how easily she could tangle their legs together if she just moved a little bit -</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go to fucking sleep. You’re losing it.” Abruptly, Jungeun pushed herself off the table with the force of that move in Butterfly, returning to her bowl and tying her hair back in a loose ponytail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe I was dumped for a bowl of cereal. Jungeun, how could you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shush.” Jungeun mumbled with a hair tie in her mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung rolled her eyes and steadied herself as she got up. She could feel her bones and her eyes in their sockets. It really do be that way at 4 am, huh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me help you.” Sooyoung ignored Jungeun’s whine and moved her hands towards Jungeun’s neck in a completely non-threatening way. When her fingertips had barely made contact, Jungeun stiffened and Sooyoung could see Jungeun side-eyeing her. For the cherry on top of the cake, Sooyoung leant down and blew into Jungeun’s ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yah!” Jungeun jumped in her chair and dropped the hair tie. Leaning down to pick it up did nothing to hide the blush blooming across her cheeks. It was so fucking adorable that it nearly gave Sooyoung diabetes, right there and then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve definitely woken members up.” Sooyoung laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And who’s fault is that?” Jungeun twisted back but Sooyoung just gave her a stupid smile; she put her hands on Jungeun’s neck again and Jungeun immediately turned back. Her skin was warm. Her ears were flushed but then again Sooyoung would be lying if she said hers weren’t too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here.” Jungeun handed Sooyoung the hair tie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... why are you doing this?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung stayed quiet for a moment. “Don’t wanna go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wanna talk about it?” Jungeun shifted in her chair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah - uhm.” Sooyoung paused. “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on. I thought we were past that sort of… deflection.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun gestured between the two of them, Sooyoung with her hands in Jungeun’s hair, Jungeun sitting quietly there, ears poking out, ignoring the bowl of cereal, the tap dripping away in the background because of course Sooyoung forgot to turn it off. It is oft said by poets that the most significant things always arrive slowly, and it seemed like an eternity before Sooyoung could identify the warmth in her chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, they really were past that sort of shit. Jungeun may actually be a wise owl but she doesn’t take any bullshit, isn’t afraid to cut to the core of the matter. Like how she split that apple in half. She’s gonna end up slicing Sooyoung’s ego in half and not even know it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s real talk hours, huh?” Sooyoung sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead. I’m all ears.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know that I’m not… exactly straight. It’s hard as it is, being idols. But I’m just worried about...” Sooyoung said, quietly, listening for any sort of noise from the rooms off the kitchen and for Jungeun’s reaction. “I was thinking too much about the future, I think.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right. I understand.” Jungeun patted her softly on the hand. “Go on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung pulled a few stray strands of Jungeun’s hair together. “I just feel like I’ve missed out on the typical teenage romance. The 300k slow burn friends to lovers fanfic type of thing. Maybe that’s a feeling everyone shares, but for me, it’s been harder, I guess. It’s fucking impossible to find someone who isn’t straight, is my type, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>then </span>
  </em>
  <span>is available.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me about it.” Jungeun chuckled. “Though, imagine ever making a move on someone you like. Could never be me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sound like Jinsoul.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably been spending too much time with her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you like someone?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun looked at her and blinked. She pouted. Then she did the </span>
  <em>
    <span>we irritating</span>
  </em>
  <span> pose and said “I cannot confirm nor deny that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, how much time have you spent with Jinsoul?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Too fucking much, Sooyoung. Too fucking much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But seriously, answer the question.” Sooyoung wrapped a strand of Jungeun’s hair around her finger, tugging slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess since it’s soft hours…” Jungeun exhaled, and leaned backwards. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore, I’m just confused all the time. You of all people -” she tilted her head up to meet Sooyoung’s eyes. Sooyoung’s lips parted as if to say something; Jungeun’s smile made her lose her train of thought. “- should know that I suck ass with feelings.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... yeah, I know.” Sooyoung was surprised how easily she admitted it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Talking usually helps.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It does. It did. And,” Sooyoung kissed the top of Jungeun’s head. “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No worries. Now will you do my hair or what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to retract the previous statement.” Running her fingers through Jungeun’s hair, Sooyoung quickly finished up the ponytail and yawned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Soft hours: closed. Go the fuck to bed.” Jungeun waved a hand at her, and this time, instead of forming her own hand into a fist, Sooyoung simply smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aye aye, cap’n.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night, Sooyoung went back into her room and blacked out. The next morning - or like, five hours later, Jinsoul cornered her (still can’t believe she’s as tall as Sooyoung, the motherfucker) with a kabedon move that nearly made Sooyoung throw up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the first thing out of her mouth was “I saw you hanging out with Kaitlin yesterday. Only it was Jungeun and not Kaitlin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have several questions -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, you shush for a second.” Jinsoul stepped away from her and crossed her arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you find out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“First, Jungeun screamed. Second, you know me, I don’t go to bed unless the birds are singing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung mentally slapped herself on the forehead. Jungeun wasn’t going to wake anyone up if half of them weren’t even asleep. “What do you think happened? That I was gonna murder her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I saw you running your hands through her hair like an idiot. And I saw her about to fall over in her chair. I’m not saying anything but -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good. Then don’t say it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t hear anything, okay? Relax.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung frowned. “What? You relax.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just… Sooyoung, don’t fuck this up.” Jinsoul jabbed a finger directly into Sooyoung’s boob and Sooyoung’s fist was a split second from being released into Jinsoul’s stomach when Jinsoul said “If Jungeun ever looks upset, I will be </span>
  <em>
    <span>on your ass</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now, Jinsoul, I knew you were gay, but I didn’t you were looking at me in that way -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously. Ha Sooyoung.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung held up her hands. “Okay, I get it. I promise you that I’ll never hurt Jungeun, even though I have no idea why you’d think that in the first place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re somebody important to her.” Jinsoul watched Sooyoung’s face closely. “I’m not gonna let her go without vetting you first.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve known me for years?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, and that’s exactly why I’m telling you this. I know how dumb you can get, and how slow you can be, and how sometimes instead of talking to someone you talk into that dairy of yours. Your thoughts must be bouncing around in that head of yours like the bubbles on that Windows screensaver. Say them before all of us go insane.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung bit her bottom lip in silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jinsoul sighed. “This has been a PSA from your resident… gay fish, I guess.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with a final hard stare at Sooyoung, she hopped into the kitchen to mock Jungeun, the source of </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>of Sooyoung’s pains, for already having had breakfast. Sooyoung noticed she suddenly got a headache and fucking heartburn, even though she hadn’t eaten anything. Quietly, she rammed her fist into the wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jesus Christ, Jinsoul is going to murder her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s honestly surprised she isn’t already dead with the way Jinsoul threatened her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Opening the door to their dorm, Sooyoung peeks inside. She stays there for a good minute, listening for voices and a certain laugh, but before she discerns anything, a hand taps her on the shoulder and she screams higher than Jiwoo when playing Cleopatra.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who the shit -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sooyoung, what are you doing?” Hyejoo asks. “Why are you hiding?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not… okay,” Sooyoung flails her hands around while Hyejoo just stares her straight in the eye. “Please don’t -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Unnie, calm down,” Hyejoo’s eyebrows invert and she puts an arm on Sooyoung’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung grabs Hyejoo’s hand. Her eyes widen and Hyejoo immediately pulls her aside, seeing Sooyoung turn red and start to hyperventilate. Hyejoo ducks into the storage cupboard - closet, very ironically - and all but shoves Sooyoung in before shutting them in the total darkness. They crouch there like that for five minutes, before Hyejoo timidly pokes Sooyoung right in the nostril.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Argh!” They both yell at the same time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyejoo growls. “Stop fighting and just spit it out!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright - I think I’m fucked. Oh fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this, Sooyoung.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, eloquence. Shakespeare himself. I’m impressed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, just listen: I think…” Sooyoung gulps. “God, this is so hard to say, stop looking at me. I think I might have feelings for someone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“First of all, it’s pitch dark, I can't see shit. I’m not an owl - or </span>
  <em>
    <span>the </span>
  </em>
  <span>owl -” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung flinches when Hyejoo says that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“- secondly, oh my god. You’re in love with her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Who?” Sooyoung runs a hand through her hair, moving her knee up and down like a rotor. “I didn’t even say her gender - ah shit -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyejoo snickers and Sooyoung can only put her head in her hands. “You’re such a useless gay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am… and I’m in deep shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Hyejoo reaches out in the dark and rubs Sooyoung’s back. “Don’t beat yourself up for being soft. And, um… personally, I think being soft for Jungeun is probably good for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... tell me why.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Exhaling, Hyejoo leans back again. “Well, you’re serious enough to admit it. I haven’t seen you this honest about your feelings in a long time - the last time it was probably when I told you in vocal training that three of my farts formed a D-major triad and you said you’d force me to eat your eyeliner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was a disgusting and unwanted fact.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was poetic, musical, and perfect for the occasion.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyejoo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, okay;” Hyejoo snickers. “Jungeun is a brat, you of all people know that the best. But she’s also strong without hiding anything except our socks, and you need someone like that… someone that you can rely on for their confidence. Even if it’s usually misplaced, lol.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung can hear the smile in Hyejoo’s voice as she continues. “Unnie, don’t be afraid of it. Repressing your feelings does nothing except make you constipated.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Emotionally?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, like, seriously, I had a crush on a straight girl for a month and tried to ignore it, and my bowel movements were -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Hyejoo, but that’s more than I need to know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did it help?” Hyejoo asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung chuckles and pats her on the head. “Of course it did. I can’t help being… scared, but your support means so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Opening the door, light floods in and Sooyoung sees the grin on Hyejoo’s face as she says “Now that’s our seven minutes in heaven over, I never want to do that again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell </span>
  </em>
  <span>were you two doing in there?” Chaewon’s voice is an octave lower than it usually is and twice as silent - so basically inaudible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, she </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad </span>
  </em>
  <span>mad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyejoo turns to her and is for once in her life rendered wordless. Looking between them, Sooyoung suddenly hears a lightbulb turn on inside her head, for the first time in years. God, that feeling is like flossing. Which she’ll tell her dentist that she does every day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Crunchy.” Sooyoung begins, watching Chaewon’s eyes shift towards her. “I wasn’t smooching your girlfriend. Although, she <em>was</em> helping me with my gay shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… what she said.” Hyejoo mumbles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chaewon looks between the two of them - Sooyoung in workout gear, Hyejoo in her pyjamas with a spoon in her hand and watermelon stains around her mouth, and narrows her eyes. “Gay shit?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come here.” Hyejoo motions Chaewon closer and whispers into her ear. The expression on Chaewon’s face speedruns through the five stages of grief - tired, happy, grumpy, despacito. Picking at her nails, Sooyoung watches Chaewon whisper back to Hyejoo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Unnie,” Chaewon sighs, taking both Hyejoo and Sooyoung’s hand like they’re forming a prayer circle. “You were literally the last person to realise that me and Hyejoo were going out. I don’t know what that bodes for you and Jungeun. But good luck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chaewon grins. “No, I’m joking. But you’re in yyxy - you should’ve realised sooner!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you saying Jiwoo realised before me because that’s…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“An L?” Hyejoo snickers. “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever.” Sooyoung shakes her head and goes inside the dorm, tossing her bag down in her room with a huff and throwing herself on top of her bed like a sack of potatoes. Outside, Jiwoo’s voice is barely audible - and there’s a familiar, jackal-like scream. Sooyoung’s phone says it’s not even 9 pm, so it means at least an hour before she could go outside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck it, journal time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dearest fucking dairy,</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Today I realised something. A lot of things. For starters, Crunchy and Wolfie? Dating? I knew they played games together like 24/7 but I guess something just didn’t click. Good for them though. Really. I’ve never seen Hyejoo so soft and yet still so herself around someone, and I think Chaewon likes how Hyejoo teases her, like Hyejoo’s purposefully poking a rose’s thorns.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Also. Maybe I just want to make out with her for an hour and then not talk to her all for the next week. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to take her out. Either punch her, or punch her lips with my lips. For god’s sake - for god’s sake, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. Legitimately what the absolute fuck is wrong with me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jungeun is so weird and so dorky and I can’t believe I’m writing this. This is even worse than self-reflection. Jungeun is messing with my head and at this rate I’ll seriously go insane. I realised today that I… god, I’ve got feelings for her. All the little things from the past add up and salksjdhkjghl yall hear sumn? The sound of my heart cracking? Yeah.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung puts the last full stop down with enough force to break through the paper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She needs a cold shower asap. Flinging her notebook closed, she grabs a towel and pyjamas and stomps out of her room. Mercifully, the bathroom is empty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two wlw yearning playlists over, she’s able to step out of the shower feeling as calm and composed as that one time Jungeun tripped and fell directly into her arms, and her breath just happened to float across her collarbones and her nails dig into the back of Sooyoung’s neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Listening to King Princess fucked her up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her head’s still steamy when she gets back to her room, sprinting like a gazelle because she’d forgotten her shorts. Sooyoung’s hand is on the door handle when she hears movement inside - something falling to the ground, and a soft curse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Probably Chaewon, concludes Sooyoung. Hyejoo would yell, while Sooyoung doesn’t think she’s heard Jiwoo swear, ever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So she pushes open the door with perhaps the most confidence she’s ever had - and it’s unwarranted as fuck because she’s greeted by the sight of Lippington’s butt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hi.” Jungeun says, straightening up and turning around. “I’m sleeping here today. Sorry I knocked your book over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A thousand thoughts run through Sooyoung’s head like they’re being chased by lions and she manages to grab one but it squirms and squeals </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jungeun’s butt! Yes! </span>
  </em>
  <span>and Sooyoung manages to cripple that one before it makes its way out of her mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung stays silent but her face is heating up with the questioning look Jungeun is giving her. Jungeun’s eyes move lower. Seconds pass before their eyes meet again, and both of them are equally red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh - don’t worry.” Sooyoung moves towards her chest of drawers the same time Jungeun spins around, avoiding looking at Sooyoung again. Fishing the first pair of shorts she sees out, she wriggles into them, fully aware that Jungeun’s eyes lingered way too long for Sooyoung’s heart to handle. “Why are you sleeping here today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jiwoo wanted to watch something with Jinsoul, so we’re swapping.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right. Cool.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t sound cool with it.” Jungeun looks over her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung isn’t. She’s not equipped emotionally tonight to deal with - well, pretty much anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s fine, I just thought you were Chaewon.” Sooyoung says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun scoffs. “Me? I’m a full foot taller than her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...you’re not wrong but like, a foot?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For god’s sake. Sooyoung shakes her head and folds her towel away. There’s some rustling behind her, and then Jungeun says “You start your diary with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dearest fucking diary</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whipping around, Sooyoung’s eyes widen as she realises which page the journal fell open to. The one Jungeun is currently reading. Adrenaline explodes in her veins; she snatches the book back before she realizes it, splashing Jungeun with water from her still-wet hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, sorry!” Jungeun wails as Sooyoung advances on her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung swallows with difficulty, and has to force herself to breathe. Jungeun looks terrified. “No,” Sooyoung repeats. “Don’t worry. It’s not your fault. I didn’t put it away properly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun’s eyebrows quirk up. Her hand raises towards Sooyoung, and stays suspended there for a long moment. “Sorry… but it is a pretty funny opening.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Sooyoung punches the arm that Jungeun has raised.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ow…” Jungeun pouts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What were you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tidying all this mess.” Jungeun twirls, spreading her hands at literally every surface in the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Forget I asked.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t act like you don’t appreciate it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung sticks her tongue out at Jungeun, then smiles as Jungeun scrunches up her nose. “Thank you, roomba.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s with that nickname…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it cute?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think roomba is a cute name?” Jungeun says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung tilts her head and feels something fall off a shelf in there. “I think you’d be cute with that name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun has always made faces and formed her hands into claws whenever she was asked to do aegyo, but sometimes Sooyoung doesn’t realise when she’s smiling when everyone else is laughing and clapping, doesn’t understand why she finds the pink colour of Jungeun’s cheeks so pretty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think I’m cute?” Jungeun laughs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s alarming how Sooyoung can now tell that it’s more giggle than scorn. So when Jungeun looks at her, one eyebrow raised, waiting for Sooyoung’s next sentence, Sooyoung doesn’t give herself or Jungeun the satisfaction of predictability.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. So what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I - huh?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You heard what I said.” Sooyoung turns around and smiles at Jungeun, resisting the urge to wink. The expression on Jungeun’s face halts her breath and her thoughts in their tracks - the roses blooming across her cheeks, her eyes that are frozen on Sooyoung’s. Her lips look like flower petals. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung swallows, and waits. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Jungeun shakes her head and lowers her gaze, the dull pain of nails digging into her palm feels like crushing snow between her hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re wild, Sooyoung.” Jungeun mutters. “And so fucking messy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey. Don’t offend your roommate.” Sooyoung brushes off the prickling at her fingertips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun huffs. “I’m gonna ask Jiwoo to come back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, I’m not that bad. At least you won’t have to listen to Jinsoul all night. She sleeps at dawn, you wake at dawn.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do, too, from what I remember.” Jungeun gives her a sideways look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hoped you wouldn’t,” Sooyoung says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t forget that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly,” Sooyoung exhales. “Me neither.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun doesn’t look at her, and Sooyoung can’t seem to move. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She follows Jungeun’s movements through the room. The journal in her hand feels heavy; she can still picture the words she wrote not even an hour ago - she’s not Sappho but her muse is pacing around in front of her, looking like a sculpture in the harsh white light of their bedroom and surrounded by bits of clothing and trash. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What even is this?” Jungeun holds up a tattered box. “And why is it stained… like that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably Hyejoo’s.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, look at it.” A pause. “It’s yours, that’s the colour of your lipstick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung freezes. “How do you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung blinks rapidly. Her hand trembles with the implication of what Jungeun just said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… observant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When it comes to me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun inhales sharply, whipping round to face Sooyoung. “Apparently. Since I didn’t even know Chaewon and Hyejoo were a thing before I read it in your diary.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How far did you get?” Her heart’s back in her throat and Sooyoung unwittingly moves the journal behind her back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only to the end of the first paragraph.” Jungeun’s lips twitch. “You’re a lot more open when you write. Who would’ve thought that you call them Crunchy and Wolfie?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung chews on the inside of her cheek. “I figured it out just today as well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really.” Sooyoung sits down on her bed. “I didn’t know before, but now… how could I have missed it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I missed it too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun’s weight beside her feels more real than the room itself. Sooyoung pulls Jungeun’s head closer, and when Jungeun puts her chin on her shoulder like it belongs there, Sooyoung doesn’t hesitate before circling her arm around Jungeun’s shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise I’ll be quiet tonight.” Sooyoung whispers into Jungeun’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Jungeun scratches her waist lightly. “I wasn’t really gonna go, you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They don’t stay like that for very long; they never can.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they touch, it’s always brief, Jungeun grabbing her arm when she laughs so hard that no sound comes out of her mouth, Sooyoung hugging her after a performance and feeling Jungeun’s heart beat as fast as her own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’ve found seats next to each other far too often for it to be chance and the way Sooyoung bumps shoulders with Jungeun definitely isn’t accident. Push and pull; Sooyoung lets Jungeun pull her into laughter and push her over when she calls Jungeun short, but Sooyoung likes looking at the roots of Jungeun’s hair and she likes the way Jungeun’s eyes flutter upwards and then downwards when Sooyoung meets her gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Sooyoung cries, Jungeun doesn’t always hug her. Sooyoung can always count on Jiwoo to do that, just like inevitably Jungeun will be there to clear away her tears, with tissues or that one time with her fingertips. Jungeun’s nails felt like little lines of electricity on her cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe Sooyoung was afraid to touch her because she knew what that would begin and because she couldn’t see the end of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re getting me wet,” Jungeun says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung’s face bursts into flames. “...what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have to dry your hair better.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” A weak, nervous laugh forces its way out of her throat. “Yeah, I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Want me to help you?” Jungeun nudges Sooyoung, who slides down from her bed to sit cross-legged on the floor. Settling her head between Jungeun’s legs - Sooyoung blacks out for a second at the image of an alternative situation - she leans back and feels Jungeun’s fingers graze along her scalp, the towel softening the hardness of her nails. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And maybe this was what she needed all along. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There you go.” Jungeun runs her hand through Sooyoung’s hair. “We’re even now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh no, you didn’t need to -” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun laughs. “I’m joking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. Hey, Jungeun, tell me when I’m being annoying, okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmh. You’re always annoying though.” Jungeun sighs. “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to cause trouble. To you, and everyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun’s hand pauses, and a good few seconds pass before Sooyoung finally looks back at her. She’s frowning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sooyoung, we could never think like that. Sure, you literally do nothing but roast us - but at the end of the day, we all love you. Me included. You know that, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now I do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung grabs Jungeun’s hand and drags her down next to her. Clambering back up to the bed, Sooyoung stills Jungeun’s movements, putting her hands on her shoulders. Her legs settle around Jungeun. “It’s payback time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to give you a massage,” Sooyoung says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One massage later, Sooyoung is convinced of it. She’s fallen, and she can’t get up. Jungeun’s soft hisses of breath and the way Jungeun shifted every time Sooyoung’s hands brushed past her neck, the muscles Sooyoung touched becoming warmer with every move - and Jungeun stealing glances back at her. It was divine and so fucking simple that it shouldn’t have made Sooyoung want to press kisses along Jungeun’s collarbone like pressing flowers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Jungeun begins, her voice muted. “I never thought I’d like this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Sooyoung fiddles with a strand of hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m indoors, and yet, you feel like sunshine. I want to stay close to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... that’s beautiful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sooyoung, you’re beautiful.” Jungeun takes her hand and taps her nails along Sooyoung’s fingers. “I want you to know that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jungeun, you…” Sooyoung swallows. “I think I might like you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A pause. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jungeun, look at me.” Sooyoung slides down next to her, heart beating wildly in her chest. Her hands raise to cup Jungeun’s cheeks but Jungeun is looking down, her eyes off to the side and her lips parted with no words forming on them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung squishes her cheeks. Jungeun looks like a pufferfish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” she mumbles. “Stop that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leaning her face in, Sooyoung smirks. “Or what?” Her face feels impossibly red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Never one to back down, Jungeun mirrors Sooyoung in closing the distance and she’s close enough that Sooyoung could brush her eyelashes across Jungeun’s cheekbones when she whispers, “or I’ll k-word you for real.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do it, coward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And suddenly they’re bowled over together, limbs all askew, Jungeun’s hair tickling her nose, Jungeun’s hands gripping tight, Jungeun’s nails leaving hard marks into her skin that she hopes will never disappear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung has never been so happy to be suffocating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her lips are impossibly soft; Sooyoung doesn’t know how she’s survived without this feeling, doesn’t understand how it feels like putting ice against a burn even though every part of her body is on fire and she can feel everything, everywhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a while before Sooyoung realises her shoulder blades are being pressed way too hard into the ground but the pretty girl kissing her, putting all of her weight on her, is the only thing that matters. Her leg may be going numb but it’s nothing compared to the static in her brain that Jungeun has created by causing her brain to short-circuit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Head empty, Jungeun thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s been 84 years… before they both sit up again, Sooyoung staring at the side of Jungeun’s cheek where a little dimple may sometimes appear, Jungeun fixated by Sooyoung’s left eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Sooyoung says. “What do we do now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...lock the door.” Jungeun grabs Sooyoung and they descend into madness again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Head </span>
  <em>
    <span>full</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Jungeun thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When there’s a knock it’s Jungeun who breaks away first, but it’s Sooyoung who manages to yell “Wait!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jinsoul’s laugh comes clean through the door. “For what? Did you two finally -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whatever she’s about to say next is drowned out by Jungeun’s screech; this time, it’s Jiwoo who giggles. “Did it go well?” she asks, and Jungeun turns even redder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, now go away!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung shakes her head as footsteps fade away. “What was that all about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jiwoo told me to talk to you tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So that’s why you swapped?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... well, she probably also wanted to cuddle with Jinsoul. You know it’s their first month anniversary?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t.” Sooyoung raises her eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what?” Jungeun laughs. “Me neither. Jiwoo told me and then said something about the law of equivalent exchange and shoved me in here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, you could’ve just left?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you glad I didn’t?” Rubbing her cheek against Sooyoung’s shoulder, she tickles her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want you to leave…” Sooyoung ruffles up Jungeun’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want me to leave. You just want me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s not wrong. But her wiggling eyebrows and small, stupid smile flip a switch in Sooyoung. And that switch is currently set to </span>
  <em>
    <span>top</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another ten minutes or hours later, Hyejoo opens the door; Chaewon shields her eyes just in time but it was enough to get them kicked out, relegated to the couch for the night. Everyone’s filed off into their bedrooms, and they beg for a blanket at the door of yyxy for five whole minutes before it’s granted to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s eleven o’clock.” Sooyoung pokes Jungeun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She yawns.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on.” Pulling the blanket around them, Sooyoung ushers a sleepy Jungeun into her arms. The tap’s dripping again but Sooyoung cares not one bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungeun nods off in the time it takes for Sooyoung to arrange her legs in a comfortable position. She doesn’t know if the weather’s getting warmer or if it’s Jungeun, head tucked away, chin down and only her eyelashes visible, that’s making Sooyoung so damn drowsy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because she’s there, just inches away from Sooyoung - and it’s precisely the simplicity of it all that makes her see a future where this happens every day, and she’s there watching her silently, not because Sooyoung’s deep in thought or not paying attention but because she is speechless at the sheer improbability of this, the absolute absurdity of her ever getting to love someone like this. Quietly and with a pounding heart she runs her hand through Jungeun’s hair, and she lets out a soft hiss of breath and this must be what birds feel like when nesting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And next morning she’ll find Jungeun awake before her, but Sooyoung’s already made up her mind to keep her in her arms as long as possible. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was written in a week listening to King Princess on repeat so it's probably a mess. </p><p>I succumbed to stanning LOONA during quarantine and I regret not a single thing. Lipves' dynamic, especially during So What era, caught my eye and I wanted to try out a new concept, namely 50% soft and 50% on crack. So here we are.</p><p>I hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did!</p><p>Twitter: @fingishere</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>